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Informationen zum Autor Dr. Jane Greer Klappentext At one time or another we have all been betrayed by someone we trusted, all felt the sting of deceit and subsequent shattering of self-confidence. And when the people we count on betray our trust, the wound is deep and long-lasting. In How Could You Do This to Me?, Dr. Jane Greer teaches readers:the types of people who are more at risk of betrayal the warning signs of someone who is untrustworthy a process that helps decide whether a relationship is worth saving or whether it should be abandoned.Part One discusses the roots of trust, blind trust, and the reasons betrayers betray. Part Two reveals our betrayers' many faces: admirers, users, or rivals. Part Three focuses on the fallout from betrayal: confrontation, revenge, and betrayal, and talks about how you can learn to trust your judgment and others again.Time and again, people you love, respect, and count on--lovers, family, friends, or colleagues--behave in ways that wound you deeply, shake your faith in them and in yourself, and tear at the fabric of your relationships. It's not easy for anyone to live with betrayal, large or small. Though you may understand it intellectually, emotionally you are scalded by the broken trust. Mention the word trust or betrayal, and most people think immediately of sexual infidelity. While an affair is certainly a devastating betrayal of trust, it is only one of the many types of betrayals I will deal with in this book. Some betrayals are deliberate; others, unplanned. They are triggered by words said and actions taken, as well as by those which remain unspoken and covert. A betrayer may openly deceive by taking obvious stabs at your character or status. He may tell you one thing but do something else, or pretend to care while neglecting your well-being and polluting your trust with omissions and lies. Or he may betray in a way that is subtle and hard to pinpoint, by tacitly agreeing to another's negative opinion of you, or simply by failing to be there for you when you fully anticipate that he will. Betrayals are fueled by many forces, too--by jealousy, anger, and competition--but, surprisingly, the desire to hurt is not always one of them. Betrayers may actually wish to help you and then feel unjustly accused when you cast doubt on their credibility and motives. They may think they're being caring and protective, and that their behavior is vindicated by their admirable intentions. Do they do what they do intentionally or unwittingly? How do they live with themselves? More important, how do you live with them? OUR CHEATIN' HEARTS In my private practice, I often see people reeling from the pain of betrayal. Indeed, it's hard to ignore the trust gap that slices through nearly every corner of society. Be it government, industry, education, medicine, Hollywood, sports, or the media, people and institutions we thought we could trust often turn out to be riddled with dishonesty, deception, lying, waffling, quibbling, or some other sideways bending of the truth. Though cultural historians may note that untrustworthy personal and professional relationships have been with us since time immemorial, these days they do seem more pervasive and insidious than ever. Pollsters report that most Americans believe there is less honesty today than there was even a decade ago. Certainly, television and radio talk shows confirm that perception, with daily tales of betrayal--vows and promises broken, expectations gone haywire, relationships allowed to wither. We watch and listen as victims say that they feel alone and abandoned--adrift without an emotional compass. We watch and listen--partly with fascination, partly with empathy--because, on some level, in some way, we have all experienced their anguish. And we wonder: In a nation of adulterers, liars, swindlers, and cheaters, is being happy, rather than honorable, the ...
