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Zusatztext "In a sea of literary lies! finally a book that will tell you the truth about the things you need to know."— Sarah Silverman "Smart! funny! and cool."— Roger Ebert "The funniest! wisest! greatest book ever written! I keep reading and rereading it here in my padded cell!"— Stan Lee "Ridiculously hilarious."— Library Journal Informationen zum Autor Founded in 1958 as a print publication and competitor of Mad Magazine , CRACKED.COM has been published exclusively online since 2006. It is based in Los Angeles, California. Klappentext Some facts are too terrifying to teach in school. Unfortunately, Cracked.com is more than happy to fill you in with this hilarious tome of trivia. • A zombie apocalypse? It could happen. 50% of humans are infected with a parasite that can take over your brain. • The FDA wouldn't let you eat bugs, right? Actually, you might want to put down those jelly beans. And that apple. And that strawberry yogurt. • Think dolphins are our friends? Then these sex-crazed thrill killers of the sea have you right where they want you. • The most important discovery in the history of genetics? Francis Crick came up with it while on LSD. • Think you're going to choose whether or not to buy this book? Scientists say your brain secretly makes all your decisions 10 seconds before you even know what they are. If you’re a fan of The Oatmeal or Frak.com and hate being wrong about stuff, you’ll love what you find in You Might Be a Zombie from the twisted minds at Cracked. Five Stories about Jesus’s Childhood They Had to Cut from the Bible (to Avoid an NC-17 Rating) The Gospels that made it into the Bible pretty much skip from the birth of Jesus Christ to his adulthood, but there are other documents that chronicle the adventures of Jesus Christ: Boy Wonder. They’re part of something called the New Testament Apocrypha, a series of books deemed unfit for inclusion due to concerns over the message they’d send or, in some cases, the number of faces they’d melt with their sheer awesomeness. Most of the stories are pretty normal fare—healing lepers and raising the dead—but some are so insane that we learn that the answer to, What would Jesus do? is whatever the hell he wants. 5. Jesus Christ: Dragonmaster The New Testament didn’t just descend from the skies onto newsstands the morning after Jesus ascended to heaven. The twenty-seven books in modern Christian Bibles weren’t declared official until over three hundred years after Jesus walked the earth. By that time, thousands of sayings and stories about Jesus’s life had to be left on the cutting-room floor. Such was the case of the Gospel of Pseudo-Matthew. The name comes from the fact that it’s basically an extended director’s cut of the Gospel of Matthew that made the Bible, covering most of the same territory save for one regrettably deleted scene. Two years after Jesus was born, King Herod got word of a child being called the “king of the Jews” and ordered that all two-year-old male children in Bethlehem be killed to protect his throne (making Herod the first, and last, member of the controversial “kill all babies” political platform). But God managed to warn Joseph in time, and the family fled before Herod’s men arrived. You probably knew all that. What you may not have known is that on their way to Egypt, Jesus and his family stopped to rest in a cave, which, to their surprise, was populated by a herd of dragons (what do you call a group of dragons? A flock? A pride? A concert?) Actual scaly, fire-breathing, winged lizard-dragons. And, lo, suddenly there came forth from the cave many dragons; and when the children saw them, they cried out in great terror. Then Jesus went down from the bosom of His mother, and stood on His feet before the dragons; and they adored Jesus, ...
