Why I am Not an Atheist - The Confessions of a Sceptical Believer

What can I know? What must I do? What may I hope?

Twenty-five years ago, celebrated author Christopher Beha gave up on God. After reading Bertrand Russell's classic text Why I Am Not a Christian, he became a committed atheist, certain that his days of belief were behind him. A youthful brush with mortality soon set Beha on a decades-long quest for meaning in a godless world.

Why I Am Not an Atheist tells the story of this search for secular answers and along the way, Beha traces the development of what he understands to be the two major atheist worldviews: scientific materialism and romantic idealism. Beha's passage leads him to the surprising conclusion that faith preserves the best of both traditions while offering a complete and coherent picture of reality.

This deeply personal yet universal investigation delves into suffering, mortality and ultimate meaning, calling readers to take up these questions for themselves.

About the author

Christopher Beha is the former editor of Harper’s Magazine and the author of four previous books, including The Index of Self-Destructive Acts, which was nominated for the 2020 National Book Award.

Product details

• Authors: Beha Christopher
• Publisher: Penguin Books
• Languages: English
• Product format: Hardback
• Release: 19.02.2026
• EAN: 9781911764007
• ISBN: 978-1-911764-00-7
• No. of pages: 224
• Dimensions: 156 mm x 240 mm x 28 mm
• Weight: 500 g
• Subjects: Humanities, art, music > Religion/theology > Other religions; Non-fiction book > Philosophy, religion > Miscellaneous; Religion / Christian Church / General, SELF-HELP / Spiritual, Memoirs, Spirituality & religious experience, Christian life and practice, Spirituality and religious experience, Mind, body, spirit: thought and practice, Agnosticism and atheism