I Can't Even Think Straight

In this emotional novel in verse by the Stonewall Award-winning author of The Black Flamingo , a queer biracial teen confronts issues of race, privilege, class, and sexuality on his journey to falling in love. Kai knows who he is to others: The good grandson, the reliable best friend, the romantic backup. But he doesn''t quite know who he is to himself. Kai wants to come out at school, but his best friend there, Matt, stays closeted for fear of getting kicked out by his conservative parents--and wants Kai to do the same. Kai unhappily agrees, but when a rumor goes around that Kai and Matt are dating, Matt starts acting differently anyway. Kai''s other best friend, Vass, is proudly nonbinary and thinks Matt is a negative influence--though maybe that''s just their crush on Kai talking. Kai has always turned to writing to express his emotions, but when his on-page emotions erupt into the real world, he might just be putting the delicate balance of his life at risk. Told with Dean Atta''s signature lyricism and candor, this deeply feeling story explores the complexities of crushes, navigating identity, and coming out.

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"Atta touches in gentle, sensitive ways on many significant themes. An emotional novel in verse that reads like an actual teen's diary." - Kirkus Reviews
"Atta crafts another memorable story about a young teen finding themselves, and he perfectly captures the complexity of relationships." - Booklist
"Atta deftly explores themes of queerness, masculinity, and racism with emotional honesty and heart. A warmly rendered story about being seen." - Publishers Weekly

Product details

• Authors: Dean Atta
• Publisher: Quill Tree Books
• Languages: English
• Age Recommendation: from age 14
• Product format: Hardback
• Released: 09.04.2025
• EAN: 9780063158030
• ISBN: 978-0-06-315803-0
• No. of pages: 304
• Dimensions: 140 mm x 210 mm x 24 mm
• Subjects: Children's and young people's books > Young people's books from 12 years of age; YOUNG ADULT FICTION: Social Themes / Friendship *, YOUNG ADULT FICTION: Social Themes / Dating & Sex *, YOUNG ADULT FICTION: Social Themes / Emotions & Feelings *, YOUNG ADULT FICTION: Novels in Verse *, YOUNG ADULT FICTION: Coming of Age *, YOUNG ADULT FICTION: Diversity & Multicultural *, YOUNG ADULT FICTION: Literary *, YOUNG ADULT FICTION: Romance / LGBTQ+, YOUNG ADULT FICTION: LGBTQ+ / General