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A groundbreaking, sensitive community memoir to support and inspire all those who encounter surprises when planning their families. Just as women turn to doctors and midwives to guide them through pregnancy, mothers turn to stories of shared experiences to create community in times of isolation, to find comfort in times of loss, and to support each other through the daily trials of parenthood. Unexpected offers what so many of them seek: connection, information, and the feeling of being seen. Medical complications in pregnancy and fertility are the rule rather than the exception. Stories of others who''ve survived and thrived provide invaluable reassurance. About 12% of reproductive-aged couples in the US--including more than 7 million women--have trouble getting pregnant or staying pregnant. Each year, American families experience approximately 4 million births, 1 million miscarriages, 24,000 stillbirths, and 16,000 neonatal deaths. The Agency for Healthcare Research and Quality reports that more than 90% of births involve complications, from the trivial to the life-threatening. And yet we try not to talk about our challenges for fear of seeming weak, triggering others, or failing to achieve the archetypal glowing mother stereotype. But the moment I mention this book to a female in my life, she opens up about her experiences and gushes about how much we need a resource like this book. These tremendous stories prove that, different as our paths to parenthood might be, one thing we share is resilience, and we can always find hope and beauty along the path to parenthood.
About the author
Rebecca N. Thompson, MD, is a family medicine and public health physician who specializes in women’s and children’s health. She trained at Harvard, Stanford, and Oregon Health and Science University and will always be learning from her most influential teachers—her patients, colleagues, family, and friends. She lives in Portland, Oregon, where she spends her free time wandering through green spaces, reading in cozy nooks, playing unreasonably complicated board games, repurposing found objects, and accompanying her husband and children on all-weather adventures near and far.
Summary
"Rebecca Thompson’s moving book proves that there are as many different ways of becoming a family as there are mothers—a personal, compelling reminder of why women’s reproductive health care matters, and why one size does not fit all”—Jodi Picoult, #1 New York Times bestselling author
"Immersive, compassionate, and vulnerable, Held Together invites us to walk with Dr. Thompson as she navigates her own journey to parenthood and the beautiful, messy, uplifting stories of the families she cares for along the way."—Lori Gottlieb, New York Times bestselling author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone
A primary care physician's moving memoir of navigating a complicated path to motherhood, interwoven with the stories of twenty-one of her patients, friends, and medical colleagues—and sharing the intimate truths of their diverse perspectives on being part of all kinds of families, born and built and chosen.
Seventeen years ago, when Rebecca Thompson endured a string of life-threatening pregnancy losses and rare medical conditions, her training as a physician didn’t protect her from feeling isolated and overwhelmed. What she longed for was a community of women—or even one encouraging story—to reassure her that she wasn’t alone.
Deciding to create the community she couldn’t find in her own time of need, Dr. Thompson reached out to friends, patients, and medical colleagues and asked them to share the stories of their personal journeys to parenthood, as well as stories of how their families grew and changed and thrived as they faced challenges beyond those early years. Held Together explores the intersections of these brave, resilient women’s lives with Dr. Thompson’s own as they encounter a vast range of unexpected turns and obstacles, including fertility issues, adoption, fostering, surrogacy, multiples, abortion, stepparenthood, chronic disease, mental illness, the death of a child, the death of a spouse, and so many moments where grief may threaten to consume us—until joy sometimes surprises us.
The extraordinary stories of ordinary women reveal that, while our individual circumstances may be unique, our experiences are universal in so many ways: we are creating life, raising children, and sustaining families, even as we search for reassurance that we are not alone in our struggles. Held Together offers a place of healing that welcomes every kind of family, a refuge where we make meaning out of our stories and embrace the belief that life can be beautiful in spite of—and often because of—all its complexities and imperfections. Our foundations may not always be strong, but together, we are.
