Co-Parenting by Design - The Definitive Guide for Divorced or Separated Parents

"The truth is, the way we choose to co-parent will shape our children's healing and their ability to navigate relationships in the future. For any parent facing this journey, this book is a powerful reminder that our children's hearts deserve the greatest care, even when our own are breaking."-JAIME KING, mother, filmmaker, activist "I will be recommending this book to many of my consultation clients."-BILL EDDY, LCSW, JD, family therapist, lawyer, mediator, and co-author of BIFF for CoParent Communication, developer of the New Ways for Familiesª parent skills training method, and co-founder of the High Conflict Institute. In Co-parenting by Design, family law experts Annette Burns and Nicole Siqueiros-Stoutner help divorced or separated parents agree on a plan that reduces conflict over the parenting schedule, holidays, vacations, medical decisions, education, and safety, and equips readers to deal with special situations like parental alienation and substance abuse. It's stressful to be a divorced or separated parent. You may feel that you're constantly being scrutinized by your co-parent and by the court system. You are expected to be superhuman: to forgive and forget, to be endlessly patient, to be a perfect parent, and to be calm and gracious no matter what. If you feel overwhelmed, you're not alone. In Co-parenting by Design, Annette Burns and Nicole Siqueiros-Stoutner offer their combined sixty-plus years of experience in family law to help you let go of these unrealistic expectations and successfully navigate the challenges of parenting after divorce or separation. With customizable sample language you can incorporate in your own document, this book makes it easy to draw up a thorough and effective parenting plan or evaluate a plan provided by a parenting coordinator or other court official. You'll learn how to: come to an agreement about the parenting schedule, holidays, and vacations address medical decisions, education, safety, your child's possessions, and more deal with challenging situations like parental alienation, domestic violence, or your co-parent's substance abuse disengage from conflict communicate effectively reduce stress increase your child's sense of security by conveying solidarity protect your child's well-being With a complete parenting plan in place, you'll be prepared manage everyday routines and handle the unexpected. Co-parenting by Design helps you overcome conflict and get back to what matters most: enjoying stress-free time with your child.

List of contents

Part 1: Co-parenting and its ChallengesChapter 1:    Co-parentingA.   How do “Good-Enough” Co-parents Work?B.   Accepting Differences and Ending CompetitionC.   Parent Education Required by the CourtD.   Parenting CoordinationChapter 2:    Obstacles to Co-parentingA.   Poor Parent CommunicationB.   Gatekeeping IssuesC.   Exposing the Child to Parental ConflictD.   Parent-Child Contact Problems and “Alienation”E.   Personality Disorders and Mental Health IssuesF.    Substance Abuse of a ParentG.   Domestic ViolenceH.   How Ineffective Co-parenting Harms ChildrenChapter 3:    Parallel Parenting: Is it a Solution? A.   Key Concepts of Parallel ParentingB.   Using a Parenting Coordinator Can Support
Parallel ParentingC.   Implementing Parallel Parenting Concepts in your
Parenting Plan Chapter 4:    Communicating with Your Co-parentA.   Using this Book with your Co-parentB.   Less Blame, More RespectC.   Choosing and Using the Right CommunicationD.   Keep It Brief, Informative, Friendly and FirmE.   More Tips for Writing Effective EmailsF.    Apps for Communication Between Parents

G.   Don’t Use the Child to CommunicatePart 2: Sample Solutions and Language for Specific Situations

Chapter 5:    Time Sharing/Parenting TimeA.   Residential care: The Standard Parenting
ScheduleB.   Infant and Toddler Parenting Time C.   Should a Child be Interviewed?D.   Equal Time?E.   Using an Online CalendarF.    Working Parents and Childcare ConsiderationsG.   Childcare and CaretakersH.   When the Child is Sick I.     Holidays, Vacations, and Special Days J.    Transitions (Exchanges) and TransportationK.   Travel with the ChildL.    First Right of RefusalChapter
6:    Telephone Calls Between Child and
Parent A.   Types of ContactB.   Frequency of ContactC.   Environment for Child's Telephone and Facetime CallsD.   Important Guidelines for ParentsE.   A Sample (very specific) Phone Call ClauseF.    Parent Child Interactions at Special EventsChapter
7:    Child Medical Care Decisions
 
A.  
Routine Medical Care,
Check-Ups, and Scheduling Appointments
B.  
Child Therapy and Parents’
Participation
C.  
Safe Haven Counseling for a
Child
 
Chapter
8:    Safety Decisions
 
A.  
Car Seats
B.  
Swimming Pools
C.  
Trampolines and other
“Dangerous” Activities
D.  
Child Walking to School
E.  
Motorcycles and Off-Road
Motorized Vehicles
F.   
Child as Babysitter
G.  
Unsafe Pets
H.  
Covid and the Pandemic
 
Chapter
9:    Educational Decisions
A.  
School Enrollment and Decisions
B.  
Access to School Information
and Homework
C.  
Kindergarten and Elementary
School
D.  
Parent Teacher Conferences
E.  
Transition from Middle School
to High School
F.   
One Parent’s Desire to Change
Schools
G.  
Parents Living a Substantial
Distance Apart
H.  
Parenting Time and Presence at School
I.    
Testing
J.   
Notices of Education Issues
K.  
School Absences and Tardies
L.   
The Exceptional Child
 
Chapter
10:  Extracurricular Decisions
A.  
Concerns about Parenting Time
B.  
Legitimate Disagreement about
what Activity is Best
C.  
Agreement to an Activity:
Notice and Information
D.  
Who Attends the Activities
E.    Payment for activities

About the author

Annette Burns, JD, is an attorney and a certified Family Law Specialist and Parenting Coordinator, practicing in Arizona. She is a past president of the international interdisciplinary organization, the Association of Family and Conciliation Courts (AFCC), a nonprofit organization of over 5000 international family law related professionals. She has been a Fellow of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers (AAML), a national organization composed of the nation's top attorneys since 2001. She has been named a SuperLawyer every year from 2007-2020 and one of Superlawyers' Arizona's Top Female Attorneys in 2013, 2014 and 2019. She is the co-author of BIFF for Co-Parent Communication with high-conflict expert Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. and co-parenting expert, Kevin Chafin, LPC. Her private practice in Arizona focuses on family law. Annette lives in Scottsdale, Arizona.

Nicole Siqueiros-Stoutner is a family law attorney, mediator, and court-appointed Parenting Coordinator. She previously worked with Child Protective Services and a domestic violence shelter before transitioning to legal practice. After managing a non-profit organization's legal department, Nicole immersed herself in family law as an associate attorney and later as a partner in a Phoenix, Arizona firm. As a judge pro tem and trained Parenting Coordinator, Nicole serves the legal community by facilitating Alternative Dispute Resolution conferences and conducting private mediations. She is an effective advocate for clients after her tenure as a judicial officer in the Maricopa County Superior Court and a participant on the Maricopa County Superior Court Mental Health Roster. She is an award-winning jurist with experience teaching family law courses at local institutions.

Product details

• Authors: Annette Burns, Nicole Siqueiros-Stoutner
• Publisher: High Conflict Institute Press
• Languages: English
• Product format: Paperback / Softback
• Released: 17.12.2024
• EAN: 9781950057429
• ISBN: 978-1-950057-42-9
• No. of pages: 232
• Dimensions: 150 mm x 227 mm x 13 mm
• Weight: 326 g
• Subject: Guides > Self-help, everyday life > Lifestyle, personal development