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In this practical follow up to Refusing to be a Man, John Stoltenberg uses a combination of case studies, autobiography, checklists and discussion points, to speak directly to men about how the social construction of manhood operates in everyday relationships and to show how these same dynamics drive the behaviour of gangs, race-hate groups, and international imperialism. Readers will find here new perspectives on intimacy, gender, and violence and be pushed to re-examine their ideas of manhood and gender identity generally. Stoltenberg's new introduction sets the book in academic context, summarising the game theory of gender which underlies all his work.
List of contents
Introduction to the Revised Edition, Prolog, An Author's Note to Women Readers, 1 How Can I Be Less Afraid of Other Men?, 2 How Can I Be Closer to People-in Friendship and in Love?, 3 Why Can't We Tell Our Truths as Men, Man to Man?, 4 How Do We Know What Manhood Really Is?, 5 How Can We Have Better Relationships With the Women in Our Lives?, 6 What Must We Learn About Manhood from Dad?, 7 What If My Father Didn't Love Me?, 8 What If I Feel Like a Fatherless Son?, 9 Isn't There Some Way That Manhood Can Be Redeemed?, 10 Isn't Manhood Something Basic That We Really Need?, 11 How Can I Be Anybody If I'm Not a Real Man?, 12 What's Supposed to Turn a Real Man On?, 13 Why Can't I Feel OK to Be Me?, 14 How Can I Get Along Better With My Men Friends?, 15 How Can I Get Women to Trust Me?, 16 Why Do Communications in My Love Life Break Down?, 17 Why Can I Feel Nothing When Someone I Love Feels Pain?, 18 How Can I Tell the Difference Between What's Right and What's Wrong in My Most Intimate Relationships?, 19 How Can I Have Better Sex?, 20 Looking Really Turns Me On-So What's the Matter With That?, 21 I Like Hanging Out With Just Guys a Lot-Is There Some Kind of a Problem With That Too?, 22 How Can I Be Close to Men and Not Feel Like I'm Queer?, 23 If They Take Away My Porno, Will They Take Away My Manhood Next?, Epilog: The End of Men, Acknowledgments
Summary
In this follow-up to Refusing to be a Man, the author discusses new perspectives on intimacy, gender and violence as well as re-examining ideas of manhood and gender identity in general.
