Read more
When''s the last time you felt as composed as you portray to your boss, family and friends? If there''s a discord between the two, you''re not alone. Humans are master pretenders? We often seem stronger, calmer and more mature than we really are, while the truth is we''re full of doubts and self-criticism that pushes us to borrow reassurance from friends, beliefs from strangers on the internet, or attention that, in the moment, makes us feel successful, but leaves us totally hollow and burnt out. Dr. Smith uses examples from her own life and the lives of her therapy patients to explain how we borrow confidence, calmness and beliefs from our relationships and offers solutions and steps for building a life with our own best-thinking. She also unpacks the science of our social nature, explaining why we''re so focused on others and teaching us how to interrupt anxious relationship patterns. If a reader is unsure if the career path they''re on is one they want to stay on, Dr. Smith will show them how to redefine what a successful career means to them. If they only feel steady when overfunctioning for others, she''ll help them learn how to let others be responsible for themselves. By the end of the book, readers will have learnt to stop people-pleasing and be armed with a new set of principles and a new sense of self, ready to stand strong in the face of any challenge.
About the author
Dr. Kathleen Smith is a licensed therapist and mental health author and reporter with over 10,000 subscribers to her weekly newsletter. An associate faculty member of the Bowen Center for the Study of the Family, she teaches Bowen family systems theory to leaders around the globe and is the only traditionally published author to bring this theory to readers, starting with her previous book, Everything (Isn't) Terrible. She has been interviewed by The New York Times and Washington Post about anxiety and burnout during the Covid pandemic, and her writing has appeared in Slate, Salon, New York Magazine, Psychology Today and more.
