On This Day in History Sh!t Went Down

Informationen zum Autor James Fell spent a decade writing columns for the Los Angeles Times and the Chicago Tribune . In 2020, with a worrisome new plague rampaging o’er the land, he decided life was short and it was time to return to his first academic love: the study of history. Dusting off a quarter-century old master’s degree in the subject, he began publishing a profanity-filled daily column on social media. Much to everyone’s surprise, including his own, Fell’s “Sweary History” soon gained a massive following. On This Day in History Sh!t Went Down was published by Bantam Books in 2023. Klappentext "In this uproarious and informative tour covering all areas and eras of history, Fell reveals a past replete with deeds both noble and despicable. Some were motivated by greed, others generosity. Many dedicated themselves to the art of killing, while others focused their efforts on curing. There have been grave mistakes, and moments of greatness. Across the ages, over 100 billion humans have lived and died, and that is why . . . Sh!t happens. Every day"-- Leseprobe January 1, 1781 Does a bear shit in the woods? Duh. Does a horse shit in the house? If you don’t want it stolen by mutineers during the American Revolution and the best place to hide said horse is in a second-floor bedroom, then yeah, the horse shits in your house. This, in part, is the story of Tempe Wick. Tempe was a woman, not a horse. The horse’s name was Colonel. Anyf***ingway, mutiny. The Pennsylvania Line Mutiny began on January 1, 1781, among Continental Army soldiers. If you’re American, those were the good guys. Regardless, they were pissed about not getting paid for being shot at by those tea-drinking asswipes in the red coats. The Pennsylvania soldiers were treated like shit. In addition to no pay, the housing conditions were deplorable. Even General George Washington agreed. Literally, their rights were being violated; the state of Pennsylvania disregarded their terms of enlistment. So, they mutinied in Morristown, New Jersey, shooting one of their captains in the process, and headed for Philadelphia on New Year’s Day. Yes, alcohol was involved. Why Philadelphia? Because that’s where the Continental Congress was located. They intended to confront the assembled Founding Fathers and other rich white dudes and say hey motherf***ers army life sucks make it suck less please. For anyone paying attention on January 6, 2021, such banging on the doors of Congress may seem eerily familiar. Except not really. Unlike the deranged followers of Tangerine Palpatine, the 1781 mutineers had no intention of actually harming any members of Congress. So, a horse shits in a house. The mutineers raided supplies for their journey, including horses. Tempe Wick, age twentytwo, lived in Jockey Hollow, New Jersey. Her father recently deceased, she cared for her sick mother and mentally ill brother. Her mother’s health took a downward turn, and Tempe rode Colonel to fetch the doctor. Along the way, three mutineers intercepted her and said give us that f***ing horse. She said okay, asking the soldier holding Colonel’s bridle to help her dismount. Chivalry not being dead, he said sure and the moment he let go of the bridle she said, “Psych!” and kicked Colonel into a gallop. The soldiers knew where she lived, so putting Colonel in the barn wouldn’t suffice. She led the equine upstairs and had him stand on a feather mattress to muffle his hooves, hiding him there for three weeks. Three weeks? That’s a whole mess of horseshit. Fortunately, the soldiers never thought to search the second floor and she got to keep the family quadruped. And the mutineers? The British said hey come fight for us we’ll pay you. They said we’re mutineers not traitor traitors, so get fornicated. Then the Pennsylvania government cut a deal with the mutineers in midJanuary that bro...

Product details

• Authors: James Fell
• Publisher: Bantam Books USA
• Languages: English
• Product format: Paperback / Softback
• Released: 10.10.2023
• EAN: 9780593724088
• ISBN: 978-0-593-72408-8
• No. of pages: 432
• Dimensions: 185 mm x 230 mm x 23 mm
• Subjects: Humanities, art, music > History > General, dictionaries; Social sciences, law, business