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Informationen zum Autor Trixie Mattel and Katya Klappentext "Trixie Mattel and Katya Zamolodchikova took the world by storm with their Guide to Modern Womanhood, a book of expert advice on beauty, homemaking, and relationships. Now they're tackling an even bigger challenge: finding success in the modern workplace. In Working Girls, Trixie and Katya dole out both savvy and satirical advice for every stage of working life, from choosing a career path to sailing into a blissful retirement, in step-by-step guides, quizzes, the world's most bizarre aptitude test, and more. Searching for the perfect interview outfit? Agonizing over how to get that raise? Suspicious that your colleague doesn't really hope their email "finds you well"? Trixie and Katya have got you covered. They also share personal stories from their own remarkable careers and their philosophies on everything from mastering office lingo to getting fired with dignity, all alongside hilarious, gorgeous photos. Witty, beautiful, and packed with wisdom, Working Girls is the ultimate guide for the working woman"-- Leseprobe What Kind of Job Do You Want? Service Work Edition By Trixie and Katya Are you a fierce fucking diva who lives to serve? Well, take a number, bitch, and welcome to the club, because we are, too. Most of the jobs we’ve worked have been in the service industry, which probably had something to do with the fact that we became such fierce divas who can’t stop serving. Before we run down the list of potential service work, how about you take a quick personal inventory to see if you’ve got what it takes to serve it like a big wet fucking diva, completely soaked to the bone with nasty, gushy, fierceness. Are your giant, oily hands peppered with patches of matted hair and thick, impenetrable calluses? Good. Does your glossy forty-eight-inch ponytail detach easily? Are your hooves so riddled with bunions that you can only shop for shoes at the Boot Barn? Got any teeth? Where the fuck is your aunt Trudy? These are all important questions, and while there may not be any important answers, let’s go ahead and secure our hairnets anyway. It’s time to serve, you fierce fucking fat* bitch! *fat = fabulous and talented Katya: Cleaner Let’s face it, people are really fucking gross. We, as a species, are morally and socially compelled toward an unachievable state of cleanliness that is betrayed by our innately repulsive physiology. As a professional cleaner, you confront the harsh and undeniable evidence of humanity’s contempt for itself. Any previous subscription you may have had to a recognizable code of ethics has been long abandoned and replaced by the chaos of unbridled aggression, violence, and endless suffering. The sheets are soaked in blood. The walls are speckled with viscera. The stench of death is a fetid fog that follows you at all times, ubiquitous and unavoidable. You were once a corporate lawyer who got into some questionable activities on an extended vacation in Mexico City, but now you’re a cleaner for the cartels. It all happened so quickly; during brief moments of peace you struggle to recall just how you got yourself mixed up in something so dangerous, so destructive, so . . . delectable. Ahh, there it is. That’s when you remember. It wasn’t just your cast-iron stomach and indifference toward dismemberment but your surprising newly awakened taste for fresh blood and meat. Suddenly the pieces of the puzzle begin to line themselves up. When the other children would chase the ice cream truck through the neighborhood streets, you would slink away to the woods to rip the skin off rabbits and chew their innards. You didn’t just get mixed up with some bad guys or fall into the shadows by mistake. You are and always have been the pure, unadulterated essence of evil. Like a volcanic eruption straight from the bowels of Hell, you were spewed...
