Dear Damage

A harrowing and heartfelt essay collection weaving narratives about family, gun violence, art, and the American Dream.

Two weeks before her grandfather purchased a gun, Ashley Marie Farmer¿s grandmother tripped as she walked across their living room. It was a swift accident on an ordinary day: her chin hit the floor; her cervical spine shattered. She asked, ¿I¿m paralyzed, aren¿t I?¿ Later, thinking to put her out of her misery, he kissed his sleeping wife of sixty-three years and shot her in the chest. He tried to shoot himself too, but the weapon broke apart in his hands. He was immediately arrested. This is the scene we are greeted with at the outset of Farmer¿s stunning collection of hybrid essays. One of its greatest features is the variety of voices, a kaleidoscopic approach that corrals in autobiography, audio transcripts, media, legal documents, internet comments, short prose pieces, and more. The result is a moving, deeply satisfying, and eye-opening story. Ashley Marie Farmer is a profound writer who is clearly here to stay, her voice a true gift to our times.

List of contents

CONTENTS

ONE

Mercy 7

Jobs Peak, 1985 14

Audio Transcript (Recorded January 2, 2014) 16

Aftermath 19

Lucy, 1975 28

Internet Comments, 2014-2015 29

Transcript: Celebrities 32

Contradiction, 2014 36

TWO

American Dream Job 38

Nevada / St. Tropez, 1987 48

Slow Circles 49

Graceland, 1994 60

When the Gun Comes 62

Transcript: Hitchhikers 68

Animal Hours 72

Transcript: Shipyard 81


THREE

Body Composition 84

Transcript: Vinyl 94

Minivan, 1994 95

Transcript: Beaches 96

Bill, 1925-2016 98

Seeing the Dead Alive 99

Transcript: Games 108

FOUR

Transcript: Matrimony 111

The Book I Would’ve Written With No Trouble In It 118

Piano Hour, 1995 116

End of the Line 117

Green Girls 126

Transcript: Riptides 128

If 130

FIVE

Second Person 133

Titles of Essays I Didn’t Write 142

Things You Don’t Have to Be Taught, 1982 143

Transcript: Hazards 144

No One is Waiting 146

APPENDIX

Letter to the Public Defender 153

Motion to Dismiss 155

Acknowledgements 172

Publication Credits 173

Biographical Note 174

About the author

Ashley Marie Farmer is the author of a chapbook and three books, most recently the poetry collection The Women (Civil Coping Mechanisms, 2016). Her essays, poems, and stories can be found in places like Gay Magazine, TriQuarterly, The Progressive, Flaunt, Nerve, Gigantic, Buzzfeed, DIAGRAM, and elsewhere. Ashley has received a 2019 Best American Essays Notable Essay distinction, Ninth Letter's 2018 Literary Award in Creative Nonfiction, the Los Angeles Review's 2017 Short Fiction Award, and fellowships from Syracuse University and the Baltic Writing Residency. She lives in Salt Lake City, UT.

Summary

A harrowing and heartfelt essay collection weaving narratives about family, gun violence, art, and the American Dream.

Two weeks before her grandfather purchased a gun, Ashley Marie Farmer’s grandmother tripped as she walked across their living room. It was a swift accident on an ordinary day: her chin hit the floor; her cervical spine shattered. She asked, “I’m paralyzed, aren’t I?” Later, thinking to put her out of her misery, he kissed his sleeping wife of sixty-three years and shot her in the chest. He tried to shoot himself too, but the weapon broke apart in his hands. He was immediately arrested. This is the scene we are greeted with at the outset of Farmer’s stunning collection of hybrid essays. One of its greatest features is the variety of voices, a kaleidoscopic approach that corrals in autobiography, audio transcripts, media, legal documents, internet comments, short prose pieces, and more. The result is a moving, deeply satisfying, and eye-opening story. Ashley Marie Farmer is a profound writer who is clearly here to stay, her voice a true gift to our times.

Foreword

Co-op available; Digital and physical galleys available and DRCs available on Edelweiss; National print campaign targeting major trade journals, major review outlets like The New York Times, and the journals that have covered/worked with Farmer already (GAY Magazine, Buzzfeed, Entropy, eetc.); social media campaign on all Sarabande platforms; eBook available; Pandemic allowing, Farmer is working on a 5-city tour with stops in Salt Lake City, Reno, Los Angeles, Louisville, and Nashville; Excerpts featured/forthcoming in Gay Magazine, Ninth Letter, Best American Essays 2019 and we will pitch to LitHub. Promotion through author’s site http://www.ashleymfarmer.com/

Additional text

"Lyrical and poignant."

—Roxane Gay on "Mercy"

"Poet Farmer (The Women) parses her complicated family history to create a heart-wrenching portrait of love, family, loss, and aging in this astounding collection.....In 'Mercy,' she writes, 'while I’m skeptical of mining beauty from pain... or landing on a diamond takeaway or even claiming good can come from it, I’ve learned that time-freezing anguish makes for micro-moments of unexpected reverence.' Farmer exceeds her intention; the moments she depicts teem with power. This potent work introduces Farmer as a writer to watch."

—Publishers Weekly starred review

"A slim...but striking book."

—Kirkus Reviews

"Dear Damage plumbs devastating loss, family, grief, gun violence, and love—all with glittering tenderness. Ashley Marie Farmer’s mind is vast and complex, and her compassion stuns as she makes 'a quiet study of pain' while acknowledging that 'maybe pain has made a study of me.' These essays leave me aching and awestruck."

—Gina Nutt, author of Night Rooms

"Dear Damage is many things at once: an expertly written collection of literary essays, the riveting story of an unfathomable act of violence, a work of breathtaking empathy, a sublime and generous account of love and grief, and the account of an enormously talented writer's self-creation. Together, they assemble into a book that is somehow all of that and more: a marvel, a reckoning, possibly a miracle."

—Justin St. Germain, author of Son of a Gun

“Prose in the hands of a poet, Dear Damage is 'radiant and unabridged,' a story of love and violence set within the incoherence of American values. Rarely are readers gifted with the work of a mind equally incisive as it is elegant. Ashley Marie Farmer’s important Dear Damage speaks to all times from within the salience of our own particular troubled American now.”

—Michelle Latiolais, author of She and Widow

Past reviews:

"Whip smart and empathetic...all of it rendered beautifully, the poet’s ear and the proser’s eye working together to encapsulate and expound."

—Christopher Kennedy, author of Clues From the Animal Kingdom

“Reminiscent of Aimee Bender, Sheila Heti, and Aurelie Sheehan.”

—Electric Lit

“The conviction of Lydia Davis...and a linguistic inventiveness equal to that of Diane Williams.”

—The Masters Review

"Surreal verve and melancholy tenderness."

—Gina Nutt, author of Night Room

"A highly original work of art."

—The Collagist

"How do we read a book like Beside Myself? Like a gift. We study it from all sides, consider how it feels in our hands, read, consider, then read it again.
"
—The Rumpus

Product details

• Authors: Ashley Marie Farmer
• Publisher: Ingram Publishers Services
• Languages: English
• Product format: Paperback / Softback
• Release: 15.03.2022, delayed
• EAN: 9781946448903
• ISBN: 978-1-946448-90-3
• No. of pages: 200
• Series: Series in Kentucky Literature
• Subjects: Fiction > Poetry, drama; BIOGRAPHY & AUTOBIOGRAPHY / Women, FAMILY & RELATIONSHIPS / Life Stages / General, LITERARY COLLECTIONS / Women Authors