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Framed by a comprehensive review of international research, literature, and film, this book is an intimate journey into the experiences and insights of 79 Australian women in relationships with bisexual men. It takes us into the daily lives, sexual intimacies, and families of MOREs (mixed-orientation relationships) that span the gamut from extremely oppressive experiences with bi-misogynist men to extremely liberating with bi-profeminist men. Aged 19 to 65, the women are in monogamous, open, and polyamorous relationships with bisexual-identifying and/or bisexual-behaving men. The women themselves are bisexual, lesbian, heterosexual, while others refuse to categorize their own sexualities. The book addresses the discovery or disclosure of the man's bisexuality, how the relationships work and where they flounder, how the partners negotiate and establish 'new rules' and boundaries to maintain their relationship, and the impact of class, rural/urban setting, ethnicity, indigeneity, race, religion, and education on these relationships.
But this book isn't only about MOREs. The research, revelations and reflections in this book tell us much about current and shifting global constructions and understandings of intimate relationships, sexual desires and love, and the socio-cultural representations and labeling of genders and sexualities.
List of contents
Part One: Introduction
Chapter One: "Outside Belonging": An Introduction to the Women, their Men, and the Research
Chapter Two: "Border Women and Their Border Men": Some Theories, Definitions, and Debates Framing the Research
Chapter Three: "You know, the old Kinsey scale": Women Talk about their Partners' Bisexualities
Chapter Four: "I Have A Sexuality Too": Women Discussing their Own Sexualities
Part Two: The Journeys
Chapter Five: "Starting Out Knowing": Negotiating the Beginning of the Relationship
Chapter Six: "Changing Course Midstream": From Closet to Confrontation
Chapter Seven: "We've Arrived Where We Started and Know the Place for the First Time": Women Reflecting on 'Staying the Course' or 'Splitting Up'
Part Three: Mapping the Landscape
Chapter Eight: "New Rules, No Rules, Old Rules or Our Rules": Women Designing MOREs with their Partners
Chapter Nine: "The Problem Is That He's A Man, Not That He's Bisexual": Women Discussing Masculinity, Misogyny, Privilege, and Power
Chapter Ten: "What Do We Tell The Kids?": Women Talk about Bisexual Fathers
Chapter Eleven: "Spreading Disease With the Greatest of Ease": Negotiating Sexual Health Issues
Part Four: Borderdwelling as Outsiders Belonging
Chapter Twelve: "Minute by Minute Maneuvering": Navigating the Heteroworld
Chapter Thirteen: "Ewww, girl germs": Women's Experiences and Perceptions of Homonormativity
Chapter 14: "The Priest Told Him to Marry Me and He'd Go Straight": Bordering Religion and Spirituality in MOREs
Chapter Fifteen: "It's A Matter of Family Honor and Shame": Negotiating Ethnic Identity and Community Codes
Chapter Sixteen: "When Your Relationship Isn't Recognized by Relationship Services": Misrepresentations and Erasures in Health Services
Part Five: Not Just Belonging but Blooming in the Borderlands
Chapter Seventeen: "A door that hasn't been opened": Women's Final Words for Future Women
About the author
By Maria Pallotta-Chiarolli
