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Church conflict doesn't have to be an enemy that tears a congregation apart. By learning how to handle it wisely, pastors and church leaders can make resistance one of their most valuable allies. Far from fearing conflict, leaders can turn it into a catalyst for positive change and a stronger, more united church. Through the fictional story of a typical pastor embroiled in conflict, Thriving through Ministry Conflict shows how to handle and resolve conflict in a healthy way. By working through a series of response activities and discussion questions, the reader will gain powerful insights into the emotional dynamics of conflict. Here are the knowledge and tools that can help pastors and church leaders trade self-defeating responses to conflict for an empowering, constructive approach; gain a working command of key conflict survival principles; and cultivate the skills needed to effectively navigate the conflicts every ministry leader faces.
List of contents
Contents
List of Response Activities 9
Acknowledgments 11
Introduction: A Dangerous and Difficult Path 13
1. Welcome to the Jungle 19
2. Ctrl + Alt + Delete = ? 26
3. It’s All about You 37
4. Things Fall Apart 45
5. The Deepest Water 58
6. On the Right Track 67
7. Thaw in Chicago 74
8. Back at Work 84
9. Entrusted 94
Response Activities
Phase 1: The Problem Is You, So Know Yourself 101
Phase 2: Resistance Is Your Ally 114
Phase 3: Adaptive Change 128
Discussion Questions 151
List of Response Activities
Phase 1:The Problem Is You, So Know Yourself
1. Reflection Scenario and Questions 104
2. Red Zone, Blue Zone Quiz 105
3. Your Red Zone Behaviors 107
4. Boundaries 110
Phase 2: Resistance Is Your Ally
5. Reflection Scenario and Questions 115
6. Resistance 117
7. Projection 120
8. Transference 123
9. Postures 125
Phase 3: Adaptive Change
10. The Adaptive Leader 130
11. Technical versus Adaptive Change 133
12. Reframing 135
13. Principles for Managing Conflict 140
14. Secrets to Healthy Conflict 144
15. The Confrontation Process 146
16. When Heading into the Red Zone 148
About the author
Jim Osterhaus, (PhD, American University) a partner and consultant for The Armstrong Group, has been quoted in the New York Times, Los Angeles Times, Seattle Times, and many other leading publications. He is a psychologist, dynamic executive coach, and public speaker with extensive experience in helping individuals move through change, conflict, and reorganization. He has authored seven books and written dozens of articles for magazines and trade journals around the country. His latest book, co-authored with Kevin Ford, is The Thing in the Bushes - Turning Organizational Blind Spots into Competitive Advantage (Pinon Press).Joseph M. Jurkowski (M.A. University of Maryland) is the president, chief mobilization officer and one of the founding partners for The Armstrong Group and founder of the Counseling Center of Fairfax, Va. He has worked with Fortune 500 executives as a strategic thinker in conflict resolution, a leader in applying systems theory in organizational settings, an entrepreneur, and a well-respected leader in his work with the federal government. He has appeared in such diverse publications as Entrepreneur, the Cincinnati Enquirer, the Washington Post, and CU Times.Todd Hahn (M.Div Gordon Conwell Theological Seminary) is a nationally recognized expert on helping churches understand and reach Generation X, adding and programming alternative worship services, and coaching churches through church planting and satellite campus development. He is widely known for his speaking at workshops and conferences at the denominational level and also in the local church context, as well as planting one of the nation’s fastest growing and innovative churches, in North Carolina. Todd is the coauthor of Genxers After God: Helping a Generation Pursue Jesus and Reckless Hope: Understanding and Reaching Baby Busters, and author of Song of the 2nd Fiddle.
Summary
There’s no need to fear the conflicts that inevitably arise in every church. Pastors and church leaders can learn how to make resistance their ally. Through colorful storytelling, response activities, and discussion questions, this book shares insights that can help leaders trade unfruitful responses to conflict for a positive approach that promotes growth and unity in their church.
