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Excerpt from Advertising for a Husband
Scene: - A nicely furnished room in the home of Colonel Backup, a table L. with telephone, books, etc. Large screen back R. C. A few easy-chairs about stage.
(Colonel Backup, and Kitty, discovered at rising of Curtain, Kitty in tears.)
Colonel. It's no use for you to cry and go on in this way, my dear, I have told you it is impossible; and my word is law, - Law, do you understand?
Kitty. But, papa, T-Tom and I are s-so fond of each other, and I d-don't see how you can be so c-cruel as to s-say we can't be m-married.
Colonel. Fond of each other, fiddlesticks! What has that got to do with marriage? You will marry the man I choose for you and -
Kitty. (stamping foot) I will m-marry T-Tom, or I'll go and live in an old m-maid's h-home.
Colonel. Tut, tut, don't tell me what you'll do, do you think that I will permit you to throw yourself away on an impecunious young bank clerk?
Kitty. You needn't call Tom such names as that, anyway, and besides he's awfully smart, and he's bound to rise in his profession.
Colonel. I don't know, and what's more I don't care anything about his profession, but he'll "rise" all right if I catch him browsing 'round here. Now listen to reason, why, see here, Kitty, what you want is a man of wealth, you want to marry a man with money.
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