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What are the limits of sympathy in dealing with another person's troubles? Where do we draw the line between caring for a loved one, and being swallowed up emotionally by the obligation to do so? Quite simply, what do we owe each other? In this vivid and thoughtful study, David Karp chronicles the experiences of the family members of the mentally ill, and how they draw "boundaries of sympathy" to avoid being engulfed by the day-to-day suffering of a loved one.
Working from sixty extensive interviews, the author reveals striking similarities in the experiences of caregivers: the feelings of shame, fear, guilt and powerlessness in the face of a socially stigmatized illness; the frustration of navigating the complex network of bureaucracies that govern the mental health system; and most of all, the difficulty negotiating an "appropriate" level of involvement with the mentally ill loved one while maintaining enough distance for personal health. Throughout the narratives, Karp sensitively explores the overarching question of how people strike an equilibrium between reason and emotion, between head and heart, when caring for a catastrophically ill person. The Burden of Sympathy concludes with a critical look at what it means to be a moral and caring person at the turn of the century in America, when powerful cultural messages spell out two contradictory imperatives: pursue personal fulfillment at any cost and care for the family at any cost.
An insightful, deeply caring look at mental illness and at the larger picture of contemporary values, The Burden of Sympathy is required reading for caregivers of all kinds, and for anyone seeking broader understanding of human responsibility in the postmodern world.
List of contents
- 1: Illness and Obligation
- 2: Bearing Responsibility
- 3: Managing Emotions
- 4: Family Ties
- 5: The Four Cs
- 6: Surviving the System
- 7: Caring in Postmodern America
About the author
David A. Karp is the author of the bestselling Windows Annoyances series of books and the founder of Annoyances.org. He writes for PC Magazine and his latest books include eBay Hacks and eBay: The Missing Manual.
Summary
In this study, David Karp chronicles the experiences of the family members of the mentally ill, and how they draw "boundaries of sympathy" to avoid being engulfed by the day-to-day suffering of a loved one.
Additional text
"David Karp is a great ethnographer of disrupted lives, offering profound truths in clear prose, combining empathy with analysis. Burden of Sympathy gives eloquent voice to care givers; I know no other book that tells their story with such respect. This brilliant study offers personal validation, a model study of suffering and moral decision making, and a profound challenge to policy makers."--Arthur W. Frank, Professor, Department of Sociology, University of Calgary and author of At the Will of the Body: Reflections on Illness and The Wounded Storyteller: Body, Illness, and Ethics
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"An enriching companion book for anyone seeking advice adn solace fro handling the issues that arise from loving someone with a mental illness as well as a commentary on the moral values of contemporary society."-Booklist
