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Blame is abundant these days! Every day people confront us at work, at the store, at home, in our communities and online. Nerves get on edge. More and more people get stuck blaming others for anything that goes wrong. With high-conflict people increasing in society, the 24-hour news cycle, and social media, we are continually barraged with the worst behaviors of other people. The strong temptation is to react, defend yourself and blame them back.
Instead, consider the simple So, What’s Your Proposal? method for pulling them out of the past and away from blaming everyone else. Get them to quickly: focus on the future; take responsibility; contribute to finding solutions to problems – including those they created themselves.
You will stay calm and confident, while earning the respect of those around you – even those who want to blame you!
“In his newest must read book So, What’s Your Proposal? Shifting High-Conflict People from Blaming to Problem-Solving in 30 Seconds, Master Attorney/Mediator/ Therapist, Bill Eddy shows you how to stop the blame game and consciously shift conflict quickly into creative solutions. This book is crucial for anyone who has to deal with difficult people at home or in business!”
—Mari J. Frank, Esq. CIPP, attorney/mediator, and author of Negotiations Breakthroughs; co-author of The Gift in Conflict for Couples.
List of contents
Introduction
Chapter 1: Will Emma and Jake Ever Agree?
Chapter 2: The (Brain) Power of This Question
Chapter 3: Making Proposals in Three Simple Steps
Chapter 4: Dealing with Resistance
Chapter 5: Brainstorming at Work
Chapter 6: Choices in Education
Chapter 7: Consequences in Families
Chapter 8: Realistic Options in Communities
Chapter 9: Volunteer and Nonprofit Organizations
Chapter 10: Participating in Politics
Conclusion
References
About the author
Bill Eddy is the author of several books about dealing with high-conflict people - the most difficult "difficult" people. Bill is a lawyer, therapist, mediator and the President of the High Conflict Institute. He developed the "High Conflict Personality" theory and has become an expert on managing legal, workplace and other disputes involving high-conflict personalities and personality disorders.
His books include:
It's All Your Fault at Work! Managing Narcissists and Other High-Conflict People
So What's Your Proposal? Shifting High-Conflict People from Blaming to Problem-Solving in 30 Seconds
High Conflict People in Legal Disputes
It’s All YOUR Fault! 12 Tips for Managing People Who Blame Others for Everything
BIFF: Quick Responses to High Conflict People, Their Personal Attacks, Hostile Email and Social Media Meltdowns
SPLITTING: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder
He is also the developer of the “New Ways for Work” method of managing potentially high conflict employees in the workplace; and the "New Ways for Families" method of managing potentially high-conflict parents in and out of family court.
A graduate of Case Western Reserve University, San Diego State University, and the University of San Diego School of Law, he lives in San Diego, CA with his wife.
