Friendfluence - The Surprising Ways Friends Make Us Who We Are

Zusatztext 77577151 Informationen zum Autor Carlin Flora Klappentext Just as the role of friends is expanding in our culture! Friendfluence explores their powerful and often under-appreciated influence on our personalities! habits! physical health! and even our chances of success in life. In this fascinating book! packed with the latest research findings! Carlin Flora traces friendship from its evolutionary roots to its starring role in childhood and adolescence to its subtle (and sometimes not-so-subtle) impact on adults-both positive and negative! online and offline. Told with warmth as well as rigor! Friendfluence not only illuminates and interprets the science of friendship but will help you reflect thoughtfully on your social history and wisely navigate your present and future friendships. introduction                 Each friend represents a world in us, a world not possibly born until they arrive. — anaïs   nin       When  I was fifteen, my family mo v e d from North Car- olina to Michigan. The relocation was difficult for one reason above all: I had to leave behind my friends. For the first few months at my new school I was a puddle of tears as I attempted to connect to other kids but didn’t feel I could truly be myself. I read and reread letters from my old friends and felt painfully excluded from their latest escapades. Then one day I saw them up in the bleachers during a pep rally: They were a boisterous group of “alternative” girls (this was the ’90s) who were none- theless not too alternative,  I soon learned: They were adventur- ous and artsy but still cared about getting good grades. From the first time I sat at their lunch table, my isolation began to subside. I started to feel excited about life again. I was sentimental to begin with, which is probably why leaving my North  Carolina friends was so painful. But my experience is far from unique: Friendship is a crucial facet of life, and not just for melodramatic teenage girls. During the eight years I worked at Psychology Today maga- zine as a writer and editor, I noticed a steady increase in scien- tific findings about friendship. Study after study pointed to its surprising benefits. Who knew that friendship could be so good not only for one’s mood but for one’s health? Solid friendships can help you shed pounds, sleep better, stop smoking, and even survive a major illness. They can also improve memory and problem-solving abilities, break down prejudices and ethnic rivalries, motivate people to achieve career dreams, and even repair a broken heart. Yet very few of the many social science and self-help books that crossed my desk covered all of these aspects of friendship. Walk through the relationships section of any bookstore and you will be overwhelmed with titles about finding and keeping a romantic partner or parenting a child. An alien perusing this body of literature might assume that lovers and families are the only relationships we humans have. Of course we also have friends. We might think all of our traits and life decisions can be traced back to our genes or the influence of our parents or partners, but it has become increas- ingly clear that our peers are stealth sculptors of everything from our basic linguistic habits to our highest aspirations. And while friendships are a staple in most of our lives, very few of us are fully aware of the effect friends have on our personal growth and happiness. The converse holds true, too: A person without friends will become unhappy or worse. Loneliness sends the body and mind into a downward  spiral. A lack of friends can be deadly.     e volutionary  psychol ogist s theoriz e that friendship has roots in our early dependence on others for survival. Hav- ing a friend help you hunt, for instance, made it more likely that you and your family—and your hunting b...

Product details

• Authors: Carlin Flora
• Publisher: Anchor Books USA
• Languages: English
• Product format: Paperback / Softback
• Released: 08.10.2013
• EAN: 9780307946959
• ISBN: 978-0-307-94695-9
• No. of pages: 288
• Dimensions: 130 mm x 202 mm x 19 mm
• Subjects: Guides > Self-help, everyday life > Partnership, sexuality; Humanities, art, music > Psychology > Theoretical psychology