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Prior to 1990, fewer than 5% of domestic infant adoptions were open. In 2011, 90% or more of adoption agencies are recommending open adoption. Yet these agencies do not often or adequately prepare either adopting parents or birth parents for the road ahead of them! The adult parties in open adoptions are left floundering. There are many resources on why to do open adoption, but what about how? Open adoption isn't just something parents do when they exchange photos, send emails, share a visit. It's a lifestyle that may intrude at times, be difficult or inconvenient at other times. Tensions can arise even in the best of situations. But knowing how to handle these situations and how to continue to make arrangements work for the children involved is paramount. This book offers readers the tools and the insight to do just that. It covers common open-adoption situations and how real families have navigated common issues successfully. Like all useful parenting books, it provides parents with the tools to come to answers on their own, and answers questions that might not yet have come up.
Through their own stories and those of other families of open adoption, they review the secrets to success, the pitfalls and challenges, the joys and triumphs. By putting the adopted children first, families can come to enjoy the benefits of open adoption and mitigate the challenges that may arise. More than a how-to, this book shares a mindset, a heartset, that can be learned and internalized, so parents can learn to act out of love and honesty.
List of contents
Introduction Part One: From fear to family: Parents come together 1: What is open adoption? 2: What to consider when choosing an agency or adoption professional 3: The parents (first- and adoptive-) in an open adoption 4: Guideposts from families who have traveled the path Part Two2: Orienting on the Child, Open Adoption's True North 5: Openness and the adoptee 6: Heading toward wholeness: integrating the child's biology and biography 7: Reality check: it's not always easy 8: Openness in foster, international and donor situations 9: Especially for birth parents and those who want to connect with them 10: Fare Well Appendix A Appendix B Resources Notes Acknowledgements Index
About the author
Lori Holden was named a "Must-Read Mom" by Parenting magazine in 2010. Her writing has appeared in outlets such as Parenting Magazine, Conceive magazine, The American Fertility Association, Resolve.org, and The Arvada Press. Her blog, WriteMindOpenHeart.com, has been listed by Adoptive Families magazine, Circle of Moms, and Grown in My Heart to be one of the top adoption blogs. She teaches classes on building a child-centered open adoption. She is a regular columnist for Mile High Mamas, and she founded ColoBloggers for Colorado bloggers in the ALI community. Crystal Hass teaches about open adoption with Lori Holden at Colorado Free University.
