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Do you find it difficult to 'click' with colleagues, neighbours, in-laws, or romantic partners? Loneliness has become an international epidemic, but according to Dr. Amy Banks, every one of us is quite literally hardwired for close relationships. The key to achieving more satisfying relationships is to strengthen the neural pathways in our brains that encourage closeness and connection.
In Four Ways to Click, Dr. Banks reveals that there are four distinct neural pathways in the brain that correspond to the four most important ingredients for healthy and satisfying relationships:
CALMNESS is a result of a well-toned vagus nerve, which in turn helps temper the sympathetic nervous system.
ACCEPTEDNESS, or accepting others and feeling accepted back, comes from a well-tuned dorsal anterior cingulate cortex.
EMOTIONAL RESONANCE, our ability to reflect back to others that we 'get them', occurs when the mirror neuron system is properly functioning.
ENERGY, the drive to be happy and close to the people we care about despite life's hardships, comes from a dopamine reward system that is connected to healthy relationships.
When we are supported by good relationships, these neural pathways - and our brains as a whole - flourish. But when we are isolated or in bad relationships, other neural pathways associated with stress are activated, creating symptoms of anxiety, anger, withdrawal, and dissatisfaction.
The great news? By tuning up these four neural pathways, we can feel better - and we can enhance your ability to connect with others. This groundbreaking book gives readers the tools they need to strengthen the parts of their brains that encourage connection and to heal the neural damage that disconnection can cause.
About the author
Amy Banks has devoted her career to understanding the neurobiology of relationships. She was an instructor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School and is currently the Director of Advanced Training at the Jean Baker Miller Training Institute at the Wellesley Centers for Women. Dr. Banks is the first person to bring relational-cultural theory together with neuroscience and remains the foremost expert in the combined field.
Leigh Ann Hirschman is a bestselling writer who specializes in psychology, parenting and health.
Summary
How to use your brain to create strong relationships at home, at work and in your social life.
Foreword
How to use your brain to create strong relationships at home, at work and in your social life.
Report
The subtext of Four Ways to Click is that we are our relationships. In this amazingly accessible, profound book, you get an introduction to the new, science-based, radical concept that your brain is 'relational,' and you get a manual that shows you amazingly effective ways to use your relationships to optimize your brain's natural inclination to connect. This book will help all joyful people understand the source of their joy, and all unhappy people understand how they can become joyful. This book should be used by every clinician and read by everyone. Harville Hendrix PhD and Helen LaKelly Hunt PhD, authors of Getting the Love You Want (Hendrix) and Making Marriage Simple
